I’m all wet for October

And so the month of October draws to a conclusion and quite soon (tomorrow, in fact) a new monthly subject matter will be revealed. Alas, as this month’s subject, self-portraiture, was my own creation I have felt compelled to contribute a bit more than usual. To go the extra mile. To work a bit harder. And that usually creates sweat, which requires a good bath.

I confess that my In or Out picture was in part the inspiration for this particular set of photos, but not the sole genesis.

There are a few other Flickr contacts of mine who specialize in self-portraiture and one in particular provided not only some of the inspiration, but certainly no small amount of courage to embark on this particular set.

I selected the subject of self-portraiture because I knew that I myself would find it difficult. Many years ago I was not, by any measure, camera shy. Quite the opposite. But as I have grown older I have found less and less reason to be in front of the lens and more reason to be behind. I felt that self-portraiture as a subject would really force me to consider my options, think outside my zone of comfort and try to conjure something that might work. I had and experimented with other self-portraits, but found they didn’t work to my satisfaction. Even these two were not quite for what I was hoping, but were head-and-shoulders about the rest I took.

Oddly enough the greatest impediment I discovered in regards to this self-portrait endeavor wasn’t a lack of ideas, equipment, time or planning, but a lack of ability to emote what I wished to convey. I had great difficulty finding that part of me that can act, for lack of a better word, so that I could use facial expression to convey my intent. The earlier picture in the month, of me in the closet, was one of the few over the past 31 days that actually captured my vision quite precisely. The rest, unfortunately, were rubbish or worse.

I don’t know what all this means, but it is clear that I either need to find a way to better emote or stay away from being in front of the camera.

ME!

I know that I’m cutting it a bit fine but after what seemed like hundreds of disastrous attempts at this, I came to the conclusion I am not very photogenic.
So what you’ve got here is a photo of me in the shadows, not what I wanted but it’s what I have ended up with.

Self-Portraiture

When I saw this subject my heart sank as I didn’t have any public pictures of me on flickr.  I suppose that the reason for that was because I had taken a number of candid photographs in my own district and didn’t want to get suddenly stopped in the street by someone who would say “oi! You’ve got my face plastered all over the internet!  I’m gonna plaster you all over the street!”

Also on the flickr account was a “Cops” section devoted to pictures I had managed to take from the flat of a couple of police raids.  I thought that I was being very discreet.   Time went by and there appeared to be no problem.  The pictures, while not brilliant, were getting an audience and you know how we all love to have the pictures we’ve taken commented upon.

However, the “fools paradise” came to an end last weekend when the police paid a visit (they’d worked out which flat the pictures were coming from).  Ah, well….. !

So now I have no problem with my own domed features appearing on screen.  After all, it would be sheer hyprocrisy not to allow it!

The Master at Work

I was recently out and about enjoying an early evening photography adventure in a nearby corn field when I noticed a rather long (and handsome if I do say so myself) shadow of your humble narrator.

Keeping in mind this month’s theme for our group project I set about to capture said shadow and eventually settled upon this rather straightforward version; all the rest being rather uninspiring. Not that this one is particularly inspiring, but it seemed the best of all the attempts.

I also think that this has given me a hint of inspiration in that I would like to try more of these shadow-of-myself pics under more varied circumstances. Not necessarily for the group project, mind you, but simply for the fun of it. Yes. I said ‘fun’. Imagine that…..having fun while shooting pictures. What is my world coming to?

In or Out?

In or out? But why should it matter?

As an adult I have had more than my fair share of folks wondering whether I was gay or straight. I’m straight, but just barely. And by ‘just barely’ I mean that I do not tend to exhibit a sufficient quantity of those characteristics and qualities that so many Americans consider to be signs of straightness. But ask me if I care.

I’ve seen the sorts of men that those ‘qualities’ and ‘characteristics’ produce and I’d rather have none of it. I’m happy with who and what I am: a straight guy that can be and often is thought to be gay. I’ve come to think of it as a compliment.

tam, my self portrait

You’ve all seen a variety of my really goofy self portraits.  This time I decided to do something a bit more serious.

mike’s “self-portraiture”

Three shots from me this month! Heh heh.

Contrary to Mark’s expectations I thoroughly enjoyed doing this theme, at every stage; thinking about it, planning the shots, executing the shots, and then processing them.

None of them are quite as I’d originally intended for when it came to actually setting up and shooting what I’d initially had in mind certain adaptations of the ideas were required. Nevertheless they’re all sufficiently close to my first intentions as to make little difference.
And, unlike the previous two months’ shoots, I’m reasonably well satisfied with the results.

Also, as a complete departure from my normal practise, the first two have been significantly “tinkered with”.

So…

Self-portraiture – the theme

Superb choice for a theme because when I started thinking about it I began to appreciate just how many different ways it can be interpreted.

What is the “self” who’s doing the “portraits” seeking to achieve? Is it for the benefit of others, or oneself… a journey of self-exploration and discovery perhaps?
Or to reveal oneself to other people? To reveal one’s “true” self (if indeed we can ever know what that is) or as one see’s oneself?
Or perhaps even to deliberately create a particular impression that may actually bear little if any relationship to reality?

Well, the approach I opted for was to share parts (and only parts of course!) of what I believe I really am with others… those “others” principally being this present little gang of ours.

Self-portraiture – the pics – #1

A large part of what this project is about, in the words of our Flickr group description, is…

“To grow one must be pushed and prodded to try new things. To think differently. To take on new experiences.”

As Mark has (more than once) phrased it, to “think outside the box”.

But before you can think outside the box you have to think about the box. What it is. What it consists of. Unless it can be recognised for what it is none of us really stand a hope in hell of being able to think outside it.

The box is constructed from many things but a significant part of it consists of thoughts, ideas, concepts, understandings etc. Many of which are gleaned from, or reinforced by, the world of books… the physical embodiment of the thoughts, ideas, and concepts of others. Which we either inherit or embrace… often without even realising it.

I love books! Always have, and probably always will. Not just the reading of them, but the feel of them, the look of them, the smell of them.
And it seems, wherever I go, books somehow manage to mysteriously attach themselves to me.

Many years ago I was the proud possessor of a library of some 6000-odd volumes, laboriously acquired over a significant part of my adult life. Then, in the late 80s, they all went. I kept a handful, maybe a couple of dozen or so, of the most cherished works. And that was it. In terms of books, that’s all I brought with me when I came to my present town of residence.

Yet here I am, just over a decade and a half later, once more surrounded by books. Where the hell did they all come from? How on earth have I found the time to read them all? Dunno, and dunno.

Now it it often said that one can get some idea of what a person’s like by looking at the books they read.

So I’ve brought all these strands together in the first of my contributions to this month’s theme, in the shape of a box of course…

(This was originally uploaded to Flickr as a .gif with transparent background so the white wouldn’t show. But Flickr seemingly converts all uploads to JPEGs, hence those bits of white. Sorry folks… you’ll just have to live with it!)

Self-portraiture – the pics – #2

Picking up on something I mentioned just now, its also been said that one can get some idea of what a person’s like by looking at the music they enjoy.

And I like music. Almost as much as books. All sorts of music. So I thought that for the second part of my contribution it’d be nice to share (figuratively at least) some of my CD collection…

The inspiration for doing it in this triptych-type form I can attribute to two influences.
The first was Darren, whose first month’s contribution of a montage of sorts impressed me mightily.
And the second was a WordPress and Flickr contact of mine who recently uploaded a triptych of his own to Flickr.
This seemed to me to be a pleasing refinement to the montage idea, with the added benefit of helping to bring out the smaller details of the component parts.

But there of course we hit a slight technical problem. In the original of the above image all the album titles are clearly visible. However, due to the size constraints imposed by Flickr hosting your eyesight will need to be really spot on to discern even some of the titles!

But in a way that too plays into this month’s theme, for very often it is the small yet important details of a person’s being that observers are unable to see, or only able to see with the greatest of effort.

Self-portraiture – the pics – #3

Not much to say about this one really. It is the closest of the three to the traditional type of self-portrait, but even in this one I’ve managed to incorporate what I think is some rather neat symbolism.
For, amongst other things (see if you can identify all the other significances and symbolisms!), it is a reflection (!) of the fact that my birth-sign is Gemini…